Originally published: December 2021, Updated December 2024
Self-Care: Take care of yourself so you can care for your teen
If it seems as if all your time and energy goes into helping others at home, you’re not alone. Many parents and caregivers feel overloaded by the daily demands of caring for their families.
This year, the U.S. surgeon general issued a public health advisory about how today's stresses can affect parents' mental health. Parents these days have new stressors that parents before them didn’t have, like social media and increasing financial strain.
Your mental health matters just as much as anyone else’s. It’s important to find ways to balance caring for yourself and caring for your teen(s). These tips can help.
The teenage years are often stressful for both teens and their parents. Teens face stress from school, friendships, and the need for independence, which can sometimes lead to conflicts at home. At the same time, parents may worry more, feel uncertain, and face extra challenges as they adjust to this new dynamic. Experts say these challenges are normal and can show that your teen is developing in a healthy way, even if it feels challenging.
Check in with yourself
Every day, take a few moments to check in with yourself. Pay attention to your body and mind. Be honest about how you’re doing.
Notice signs of stress—they can look different for everyone. Reflect on whether you’ve changed your eating or sleeping patterns, or whether you’re using things like caffeine or alcohol more than usual. Watch for physical signs of stress like not being able to focus, headaches, or sleep problems.
Understanding what stress looks for you is the first step in handling it. Try tools like the Bounce Back Adults Quiz, and reflect on what you can do to address your stress.
Make room for self-care
Make self-care a priority. Start with the basics—get enough sleep, eat well, and stay active. Be sure to do activities that make you happy and help you feel good.
Self-care strategies are unique for each person. Here are some common techniques:
- Spend time in nature. Engage your senses as you explore the outdoors—pay attention to the sights, sounds, and smells. Even just a few minutes outside can help boost your mood! Try activities like mindful walking, snowshoeing, or stargazing.
- Connect with others. Nourish your relationships with friends, family, and community. Try meet ups, social club, groups, or video calls. Join an online or in-person community for art, music, or hobbies you enjoy.
- Move your body. Disconnect from technology and do a sport or physical activity that you enjoy. Movement helps us feel less tired and keeps us motivated.
Remember that self-care isn’t selfish - it’s part of being healthy. Even a few minutes of self-care a day can make a difference.
Build your network
As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. This is also true of parents—our resilience is a product of the people around us, and the help we get from others.
As much as you can, build a network of support around you. Reach out to your partner, friends, family, Elders, co-workers, and neighbours. There are likely plenty of people who are happy to help.
Be specific about the supports that you need. Whether it’s help with transportation, childcare, or day-to-day tasks like grocery shopping, you don’t need to go it alone. Speak up for your well-being.
Get help when you need it
Parenting can be really hard sometimes. It’s okay to feel like it’s too much.
There are many people and programs that can help you. Some are free or low cost. You can talk to a counselor, join a parenting group, or ask your doctor for advice.
If you’re experiencing stress that’s intense, long lasting, or causing problems at home, be sure to reach out for help. Not sure where to start? Try these ideas:
- Talk to your family physician about options in your community. They may be able to help you connect with a psychologist, social worker, support group, or other helping organization.
- Find out if your workplace has an employee and family assistance program. Learn more about what’s available, like self-care workshops, virtual coaching, or counselling.
- Visit ahs.ca/helpintoughtimes for a directory of services, phone numbers, and online supports for handling financial pressures, unexpected challenges, and stressful situations.
- Call 211 to find help, programs and services in your area, any time of day or night.
- Call 811 to speak with a registered nurse, any time of day or night.
- Visit your local Family and Community Support Services (FCSS) office for programs. Find your FCSS program.
Taking care of yourself makes you stronger, and it sets the tone for your whole family.
Show yourself some kindness! You deserve it more than you know.
For more information about mental health supports, visit:
Self - Care: Take care of yourself so you can care for your teen
