Originally published: June 2022, updated December 2025
Kids learn more than reading and math at school. They also learn how to understand and express feelings, solve problems, manage stress, and get along with others. These are called social emotional skills, or social emotional learning. These skills help support your child’s mental health, lower stress and anxiety, boost learning, and even support their overall health as they grow.
Here are 10 ways to help your child grow their social emotional learning skills:
1. Name feelings
Naming emotions and moods is the first step to managing them in healthy ways. Use words like “angry,” “nervous,” or “excited” to help your child name how they feel. Try using The Feelings Wheel or “feelings chart” with faces and words to make it easier.
2. Notice the good stuff
Talk to your child about what they do well (in front of them to others too!). Say things like “You’re really kind to your friend,” or “I saw how hard you worked.” Focus on building their confidence.
3. Give them ways to help at home
Talk with your child about how they can help at home. Simple chores like feeding a pet or helping with cooking can show them they can do things on their own. Having responsibilities helps them feel valued, confident, and secure.
4. Make time to play!
Play is how kids learn! Encourage them to build, pretend, or play games. Let them lead the fun and join in when you can. Whether they play alone or with others, freely or in more organized ways (like sports), they’ll be learning and practicing social emotional skills.
5. Teach calm-down tools
Show your child how to calm down when they’re upset and manage their emotions. Try deep breathing, hugging a stuffed toy, or this calming practice: name 5 things they can see, 4 things they can touch or feel, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste. Some kids like running, dancing or connecting with nature to calm down. Practice these tools when you and your child are calm.
6. Solve problems together
If something goes wrong, listen to your child’s point of view about it. You could ask, “What do you think we could do?” Work together to think of ideas and try one out. Help your child understand pros and cons and brainstorm solutions. This teaches them problem-solving.
7. Try, and then try again
It’s okay to make mistakes or have set-backs. Tell your child, “We all mess up sometimes” or “sometimes things don’t work out like we thought they would.” Talk about what they can learn and try next time. Sharing mistakes or set-backs you’ve had and how you’ve handled them also teaches them social emotional skills. This can help your child feel capable, hopeful, and in control.
8. Let them choose
When kids have a voice, they learn to think about their decisions and their outcomes. Ask your child to pick their snack or which outfit to wear. Small choices help kids feel in charge and learn decision-making skills. You could have them help plan what they’ll have for school lunches or have their say in family choices, like where to go on a family outing.
9. Work toward a goal
Help your child set a small goal and show them how to break it down into small steps. Choosing something that’s meaningful to them makes it more motivating—like reading a book they’re excited about, learning to tie their shoes, or trying a new activity they’ve been curious about. Celebrate when they reach it and each small win along the way! This will help your child stay positive and motivated.
10. Talk to the school
Ask your child’s teacher how they teach social emotional skills in the classroom. Find out what your child is learning so you can support them at home too. The Government of Alberta supports a Social-emotional learning approach in schools and teachers often have great advice on how to help your child grown their skills at schools, in their community, and at home.
You don’t have to be perfect, just keep showing up and practicing social emotional learning together. These actions help build your child’s confidence, sense of safety, and readiness to learn.
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