Originally published: June 2022, updated December 2025
Your teen is growing fast, learning who they are, and dealing with stress, school, and friendships. Social Emotional Learning can help. Social Emotional Learning is learning everyday life skills like how to solve problems, manage emotions, cope with stress, and build healthy relationships. These skills are strongly linked to better mental health, reduced anxiety and depression, improved academic performance, and even better long-term physical health.
Here’s some ways you can build or expand your teen’s social emotional skills:
1. Talk about feelings
Naming feelings and moods is the first step to managing them in healthy ways and asking for help when needed. Use words like “angry,” “nervous,” or “excited” to talk about emotions. Try using tools like the Atlas of Emotions or The Feelings Wheel to make it easier.
2. Listen, don't fix
When your teen talks about a problem, listen first. Be curious and try saying things like, “That sounds hard” or “What do you think you’ll do?”. Help them think through their options. This builds trust in their own decision-making.
3. Let them lead
Include your teen in family decisions. Let them pick meals, plan outings, or choose how to spend free time. Listen to their ideas, even if they’re different than your own. This will help your teen think through their choices and reflect on the outcomes. This builds independence and trust.
4. Notice their strengths
Tell your teen what you appreciate about them, examples could be “You’re a great friend,” or “You don’t give up easily.” Focus on their unique qualities. Knowing and being reminded of their strengths helps build their self-confidence.
5. Plan together
Teens have a lot on the go. Help them plan homework, chores, and free time. Work together to figure out routines and try different ways of staying organized, like using a joint calendar or an app. Check in, while letting them take the lead.
6. Build coping skills
Support your teen in finding healthy ways to cope and manage emotions. Try walking, listening to music, deep breathing, talking to someone, or connecting with nature. Share what works for you too.
7. Talk about mistakes
Mistakes are part of learning. Say things like, “It’s okay. What could you try next time?” Sharing mistakes or set-backs you’ve had and how you’ve handled them also teaches them social emotional skills. This helps your teen see that mistakes are a normal part of learning and that it’s important to reflect, learn, and grow from them.
8. Give real responsibilities
Teens want to feel useful. Ask them to help with things like cooking dinner, coaching a sport, joining a youth committee, or volunteering. Talk about ways they can contribute at home and in the community that may interest them. This builds confidence and real-life skills.
9. Support their goals
Talk with your teen about their goals, big or small, and help them break goals into small steps. Whether they’re learning to drive, starting their first job, or trying a new sport, your support matters. Cheer them on and celebrate wins along the way. This will help your teen stay confident and motivated.
10. Show you care
Show your teen that you’re there for them—no matter what—by being kind, patient, and present. Even if they push you away, they still need your support. Your respect and kindness shows them how to treat others and models the social emotional skills needed to have healthy relationships.
When you support your teen’s social emotional learning, you help them build the tools they need for life. Every time you talk, listen, and guide them, you're helping them grow their confidence, strengthen relationships, and handle life’s ups and downs. These everyday moments build lifelong skills, like empathy, problem-solving, and self-awareness, that will help your teen thrive at school, at home, and in the future.
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